I know what you might be thinking as you read that title: “Oh, great. This is either gonna be: 1) a cliché blog post about marriage, or 2) a movie review about that RomCom of the same name.” But stick with me, because I’m happy to report (particularly where the latter scenario is concerned!) that it is neither.
Some churches devote February to Black History Month. Other churches often focus on a relationship theme – a “Love Month”, if you will. It might include a sermon series on marriage, a devotional about dating, a youth night to teach biblical sexuality… you get the picture. And a big part of romantic relationships is, to be sure, the idea of honor. After all, many traditional wedding vows include some variation of the sentiment, “I promise to honor and cherish my spouse.” Love and honor can’t be separated. To love another person IS to honor them, and vice versa.
So why don’t we view other relationships in the same way?
Think about it. If I suggest that you “honor” your coworkers, you might find that a little weird, or at least hard to visualize. Or what if I asked you to “honor” your children? “Richard, I’m pretty sure the Bible says the opposite. They’re supposed to honor me!” And how about “honor” for the homeless person you drive past on the street corner day after day? The nuisance neighbor who refuses to pick up after their dog? Or, dare I say it, the DMV agent who kept you waiting three hours last Tuesday for a renewal that should’ve taken five minutes?!
When it comes to honor, we tend to regard it as a finite commodity, to be doled out sparingly to only a select few people who we either love or respect. And yet, according to Scripture, we as Christians should not just demonstrate honor in certain circumstances – we should be made of honor in all that we say and do! That means standing by our promises when we give someone our word. That means having integrity in all situations. That means respecting the personhood of other people, whether we think they “deserve” it or not.
Take a look at Paul’s instructions in Romans 12:10 (I like this way it’s written in the ESV): “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” What a cool way of viewing the concept of respect. Can you imagine how different our relationships would look if we sought to “outdo one another” in this way?
1 Peter 2:17 states it even more simply: “Honor everyone.” Everyone. Not just the people we love and the people we like, but the classmate who drives us crazy or the boss we just can’t stand.
Proverbs 21:21 tells us, “Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.” What an awesome word picture! Honor (for others) begets honor (for ourselves). And isn’t that the truth? When we have the option to swing low or go high after somebody else has wronged us, if we choose the former, it inevitably leads us to feel worse than we already did. But if we take the high road, not only do we demonstrate the mature response of a Christ-follower by honoring the other person in their most unbecoming moments – we also honor the image of Christ in us.
Who’s that person who God is calling you to honor in this season, even when it’s hard to do? Maybe it’s not a one-and-done act, but a gradual process that will take time. Are you willing to dedicate this day, this week, or even this year – if that’s what it takes – to elevating them to the level of honor the Bible describes? I can’t guarantee they’ll return the gesture. But I can guarantee that when you commit yourself to walking out this principle – to becoming made of honor – your life will be transformed in the process!
